But to be honest it doesn't matter now. I received an email from her this past weekend. Which forced me to be honest and to tell her how I feel...

What is the saying, life's a ***** and then you die.

I don't want to hurt her, but it doesn't matter what I do... It is all I am good at.. So of course I replied via email.. and didn't go home..

Don't know that I can face her tonight either.. might just stay at work... I am just a big chicken..... *shrugs*

I just feel so wrung out now.. I can't move yet.. I am stuck there...