Yesterday it hit me in a flash while I was telling my friend about my therapy break that I really think on some deep level I just can't be around T while he's giving up alcohol for lent. It brings up way too much old stuff on a core, DEEP level. This is obviously something I'm going to have to work through with T when I go back, and I just wasn't ready to yet.

I still think it's okay, though. It's the first thing I've REALLY avoided in therapy...like avoided by LEAVING...but I've worked through so much and it's seriously an and/both thing. It was too triggering AND I'm ready to try stuff out on my own for a while. I was feeling pushed (internally) towards being on my own a little bit, and T giving up alcohol was just the final nudge.