Sunshine1992 you are not alone in feeling this way. I always wander if I will ever find some resemblance to the person I used to be. The med changes and the tweeks here and there are so frustrating. Feels like this roller-coaster ride will never end. I am finding there is some hope of things getting better. I was also diagnosed back in 2007 and I'm just now finding a level mood. It is not what I want out of my life, but it is a starting point. I hope you find your level spot where you can work towards finding that old you.