Okay. I will try. worst case scenario, I'm just going to look for a second (better?) therapist.

I feel grateful that people here have heard my cry for help and responded so warmly... but a part of me feels like maybe I'm not a good "influence" for the forum right now and like i need to be booted off of here.... to the neverending land of medication, medication and more medication. I've been reading some things about being hospitalized for these sort of things and it does not always seem to help... there is no personal approach or consideration for a human being's suffering. just observing them in a cold and callous environment and then shooing them off so they can get medicated. I would rather approach this calmly and slowly, and if I can find a better route to getting well, one that will be kind and gentle to a sensitive soul, I will take it. Anyway these are just my feelings...as illogical as they may be