I feel the need to get myself a psychotherapist. . . .
Also it's too difficult for me to get a therapist without letting anyone know. . . . I dnt want anyone to know. . . .
I can't even disclose it to my best friend and that feels pathetic. . . .
I mean once i mentioned joining this site and she got all there isn't anything wrong with u. . . .
And treated me differently so i lied about quitting to come here. . . . What else could i do. . . . I mean im the one going through these problems and i know it's very hard for me to cope up. . . . But i can't even call her at nite when im awfully depressed and tell her i wanna die cause once when i did so she's told me she won't be there for me she has a family n if she gets in trouble cause someday i do end up my life. . . . Then her family will also be in trouble. . . . Also she told me to go and do what ever i felt like. . . . Even though she apologized for being rude. . . . Everything is gr8 between us. . . . I mean in all other kinds of trouble she's there to hold my hand. . . . And im there for her. . . . But still I understand im alone on my own. . . . What am i supposed to do. . . .I pretend like im totally fine in front of her. . . . I had one person who understood what i am going through but even he's not bothered about me right now. . . . Feel soo empty among people. . . .
Now a days when im up at night im all alone and miserable. . . . With nothing but darkness n silence around me. . . .