Thanks so much for explaining Poetgirl. I needed a couple days to think about this because I knew it meant something about our (T and I) relationship, but wanted to give it some thought to figure out exactly what.

This piece of your quote speaks the loudest to me because that is my T in a nutshell. VERY honest (sometimes a bit too honest but I actually like it now), EXTREMEMLY boundaried (which I really hate most times), and so caring when I need him to be. I do wish he was more compassionate sometimes but I've learned to live with it. Humility I am struggling with because I'm not sure I still totally get it, but he hasn't apologized for anything even if I tell him it upset me. I'm ok with that because usually it ends up being my fault for the way I took it. He DOES take responsibility though and owns up to most of his actions. So, I think there is grace there...a lot.

There is also something he said today that made me think of "grace" when he said it. We were talking about how to start processing and "looking" at the guilt I have surrounding my dad and his death. We talked about how the guilt is blocking sadness and acting as a mask so I don't have to feel the pain of being sad. He said "by the way, I would understand why you wouldn't want to deal with the guilt becaue it has kept you going for this long and acted as a shield for the impending sadness. If you let go of the guilt, you would have to sit with sadness without blaming yourself which is not comfortable especially for you. I DO want you to work on this because I care and want you to be healthy...however, I understand your hesitation." I loved that because it shows how much he cares, but how much he gets it.

Thanks again