OldT emailed me back:

"...I wonder why you feel so protective of her....thinking she cannot handle it / you ? ...and where that's coming from. Keep in mind that you have had that feeling with others....just something to be curious about. You might just consider talking with her about this....I know it may be scary, but could also open some doors for both of you, and what do you have to lose??"

She's right. I have had this feeling before with others, but this time I can point to specific reasons I am looking out for her feelings above my own. So I dunno...