((( Jonathan ))) My ex-husband had herpes, and while I never contracted it myself, I remember the same kind of panic when he divorced me, because I was afraid that I could be a carrier over to future partners.

Look, 1 our of 4 people have herpes, even if they don't realize it. It's mostly just an irritating skin condition, like eckzyma or dandruff. It is dangerous for pregnant women, but pain aside is not a life-or-death STD.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't be concerned about spreading it to future partners, but having it does not mean that your sex life has to come to a screeching halt.

Here are three suggestions:
1) get a blood test. They can test for the different simplexes of herpes, although they can't regionalize it to genital or otherwise. Either type can appear in either place, although my understanding is that it usually reappears where it was initially contracted.
2) if you DO have it, join a support group specifically for herpes carriers. You will find that you are NOT alone with this, and that people can carry on normal relationships despite it.
3) if you do have it and want to date, here is where personal ads are a PERFECT solution. You can mention that you have herpes directly in your ad, and that will save you ALL of the anxiety of having to break the news to someone you really like. More people have it than you realize, and chances are good that some excellent potential dates will say "no big deal -- I have it too" and respond to your ad.

Good luck!!!