Realizing one's own mortality is pretty hard... I am bit younger and I feel I am not gonna decorate this planet forever...and sometimes my limited lifespan scares me. I will never visit all the places I wanted. I will never try everything i wanted to do. I may not find the right one...

The secret is in finding that inner peace.... and to a degree resigning to a fate and things you cannot influence... deal with them when they come, and in meantime live your life... do what you can do... and if you enjoy it, don't think of it as waste of time. Explore new possibilities. Try to do something special every day, even if it is a minor thing.

you are not that old... you still have a lot of time to use... you still have a chance to matter, to leave a mark.

And not to sound all pathetic and clicheish... but I think you are a great person and i enjoy muchly chatting with you and I am glad we "met".