For a while I thought I was pretty good at identifying my feelings. But I have been attending a lot of 12 step meetings (4 per week) and all of the sudden I don't know... who I am or what I am feeling. I was encouraged to speak today because I led the meeting (boy, they all didn't know what a slender reed they were leaning on). I felt like I didn't know what I was talking about. My voice sounded very far away, like I had cotton in my ears... and I was like, "what the he** am I talking about?" I always have this feeling that I "ramble on." I think it's because my father puts me down if I don't get-to-the-point quickly or say something he thinks is clear. I just felt like I didn't make any sense or know what I was going on about. My emotions seem very far away. Am I angry? Am I sad? Am I hurt? Am I hopeful? One of the things I am trying to hone is a feeling of self-assurance. This is why I feel so lost. I don't know what it's like to have confidence. I used to. But things were SO different then. I can't even go back to that old place. I need to find some new ways of understanding myself but... ???