You're right, therapists are supposed to be a bit opaque about their reactions to you, precisely for the reason that you're not to feel any pressure to behave or perform. Your T shouldn't praise you excessively, and God knows she shouldn't criticize you either. What she's doing has the effect of conditioning you for responses she wants. She's not doing it on purpose of course. She just sounds a bit inept, sort of student-ish.
If she doesn't get you, it doesn't matter what her history is. You don't feel safe or comfortable. To the curb!
I just terminated my own T after about a year. It took me way too long to make that decision. I took SO MUCH CRAP from that guy, and now I'm mad at myself that I couldn't extricate myself sooner.
You had no obligation to enter therapy to begin with. You were never under any obligation to see your particular T. You're always free to leave, but it can be difficult - for some reason we feel guilty even contemplating it.
Other random thoughts around this: therapy isn't for the therapist! Though my own T could have fooled me. (He's still sending me plaintive emails)...Anyway, yes, just do it!
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Originally Posted by griffinp
It's nothing really obvious. She's shared with me that she has a trauma history and has been in recovery from addiction for 20 years...but she hasn't crossed a line and told me specifics about any of that.
I can just tell when she's tired and overwhelmed, which seems frequent. I've asked her if she's okay and she has admitted that she is tired/overwhelmed but she doesn't go into specifics and she turns her attention back to me right away. But still, I pick up on it.
Also, any time I do show the slightest emotion or share in a more vulnerable way, she gets really excited and praises me up and down...and that makes me uncomfortable. I know she's trying to encourage me to open up more, but it's having the opposite effect. Like, I'm not sharing so she'll be proud of me, yk??
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