Sometimes I think back to a time in my life that seemed happier, where I was on no meds and had no diagnosis of Bipolar. I often wonder if I could be her once, could I be here again? What if I went off of the meds to see how I react?

Has anyone done this?

I talked to my therapist about it. He has a philosophy that discourages his direct input of feelings and decisions in my life. When I mentioned it, he told me that he wasn't a psychiatrist-maybe it would work-maybe it wouldn't.

I asked my husband. He told me that I was like that once, but I also tried to kill myself three times in 2009-2010 and spent over fifteen months in pych wards. He didn't think that it was worth trying.

I guess I wonder if I didn't become a part of the system, would I be better? Would I have relied on myself and not on doctors and meds? What would somebody in another decade do? Wouldn't they just have to "suck it up" and work on their own to feel better?

Does anyone ever think about discontinuing their meds?