Quote:
Originally Posted by Suratji
I had a weird session today after my 12 day drought. It seemed to go o.k. but I had a gnawing sense that something wasn't right.
So, I left a message on her phone telling her that and then I asked her, "Were you there?" Now I have no idea why I said that because there was nothing out of the ordinary today except that she had a cold.
Then 10 minutes later I left another message apologizing for the 1st one. I said that I wasn't feeling good about the session and my m.o. is to find someone to blame and who else but T ?
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well, the cold made her 'different'.....maybe made her seem less present somehow, or off. It has been like that for me sometimes when my T had a cold, or sometimes she was tired and was somehow a little bit off, not quite what I expected...
And then, I have been going long enough now to know that there are just sessions sometimes that feel off, not satisfying somehow....it just is that way sometimes. It is generally better the next time, especially if we talk about it....it might something that was said, too, or something not said....but to talk about it in the next session helps.
Back to your original fantasy, I have been wishing I could have 90 minutes, but I think my T only does 45 or 60 minutes. She has never said anything about 90 and I feel too hesitant to ask.....but I wish I could sometimes! But what it is, is that I just want more time with her sometimes, and it feels selfish to me somehow, a selfish desire, wanting more of T.....though I do sometimes have lots of stuff, a genuine need of more time, I think....