This is what I think you are saying:

Your guy wants to do more than cuddle. Doing more doesn't feel comfortable to you right now, but you want to do more and find a way not to feel uncomfortable about doing it. You stated that you don't want to feel pressured, and to avoid being pressured by this guy, you are going to pressure yourself before he has the chance.

That way, you don't have to hold him responsible when things happen that you don't want to happen, which you assume they will, because your PTSD is thinking for you. (That part is my personal hypothesis.)

I recognize that you want to be over your PTSD, but further traumatizing yourself is not going to help you to overcome it, and I fear that is what you are attempting. The only way to make it feel natural is to wait until it really is.