I'm having some family problems and just want some feedback. My tdoc says I am doing the right thing but my heart just doesn't seem to agree.

I didn't speak to my mother since 05 when my stepfather (only real dad I had) died and she said some terrible things. One was why was I grieving so hard, it's not like I slept with him!! Hmm. Is that a reflection of the fact that real dad and boyfriends molested me? Is that normal in her mind?

I went through tx for hepc over 09-10 and my lil sis came to help me. Our relationship has always been a bit off so it was a surprise. I thought we got it together--we agreed that we would not talk with our mother about each other or listen to her since she seemed to be cause of our troubles.

Well I did begin to talk to mother and sister went back to mother's city after treatment. After about a month neither one was answering my texts or calls. Past behavior tells me they are gossiping u a storm and once again I am odd daughter out. I had to learn my mother has cancer on facebook. I could tell she was back to her usual burying me while pretending she is so perfect to all my cousins. I keep asking myself if i'm just being too sensitive or paranoid about all this. After all, she has always been one of the least maternal women on earth.

tdoc said maybe the price of interacting with them was not worth the payments I have to make. I agreed and deleted all maternal family from facebook and elsewhere. Of course not a one has either realized or contacted me after 3 weeks.

Meantime, my 27 year old son has relapsed again, lost his car and is homeless. I really have nothing to give him after going through this so many times.Thank goodness hubby understands and is dealing with him.

So all of this crashed me right out of a wonderfully productive manic state into a horrible deep depression that I'm just trying to ignore. I think I'm not really yearning for "my" family, I am yearning for a decent family I never had? A for my son, I am really sad and feel helpless and for such a control freak that is hard to accept.

Thanks for listening. I really needed to get this off my chest somewhere there are people who understand.