My mood has been slipping today, and I'm trying to keep my depression in check, and trying to reach out for support. It hasn't been working so well. Today is the 6 month anniversary of my father's death. I'm really missing him a lot. I called and left messages with three friends today, and nobody has called me back. Granted, the messages I left were light in tone, and I didn't SAY I was struggling. (Partly because I was doing reasonably OK when I left the messages... but I guessed (accurately) that I'd be struggling later, and just wanted to connect with somebody.) I'm feeling a bit hurt that no one has responded. I did call my alcoholic mother, who was depressed and weepy, and really seems to be struggling with her own stuff. (mostly unrelated to my dad's death... they had been divorced for 31 years).

I guess I'm just feeling lonely and sad, and when my grief and depression start getting all intertwined like this, it is really, really hard. My mind can go to some pretty dark and despairing places.