Hi, Crazy...

I let my ex scream at me for 17 years...need I say more?

If you are determined to make this marriage work, you cannot let him do that. When he starts, calmly tell him that you'll be happy to talk when he stops yelling...and remove yourself form the scene. The next time you see him, act like nothing at all has happened. Repeat as necessary. Your husband is replaying the behavior tapes he came with...it takes a while for those to change. You must make it clear that you will not play by those rules.