Right now, emotionally, I'm alright. Right now I don't really feel anything. It's a relief after so many months of pain. However, every once in a while I'll have a thought like I used to have, that I miss how things used to be, wish I had never ruined it (when it wasn't my fault at all) and other things like that. I don't want to think that way, and I don't want to go back to crying about the jerks who've harassed me. I'm fine right now, I want to stay that way, but of course a part of me wants to stay this way no matter what, even if I had to still talk to the people who've been mean to me. I'm a loyal person at heart, I'm like a dog who keeps missing the owner that abuses her, so it's like it's a curse stuck in my genetics. I don't want to be bothered, I want to be left alone, make new and better friends like the one I had at school, get used to real life again and get out of my unstable mind. But it seems the stupid part of me, that loyalty or the loneliness wants me miserable.