Hi lost_as_always and the rest of you brave people,
I have only wrote on here a few times because I keep thinking I have found the remote control then loosing it.Now I have lost it again. Christmas and new Year seemed to be going fine but deep down it was an escapism from what I knew was around the corner, which is what is going to make me happy when the festivities are over.
I have just left my part time job and gone on the social security. Basically I have freaked out last week and wanted to go to mental hospital. I see a therapist who diagnosed me with personality disorder but it feels like I have been left with this. I have moveed back in with my parents after breaking up with my boyfriend and I know these outbursts are playing on them but I can't help it.I feel like my head will explode.I try to put on brave face, I have put the pills in the bin, I think if I get out and get a job I will not get lost in my lostness. Am I doing the right thing? Life is just a continuous struggle at the moment, unless I am going out and getting drunk, which seems to be humiliating as I am so sick cause my stomach is always knotted in anxiety. I just don't know what the answer is, I could stay in for days but I did this three years ago but when I go out I feel people are teasing me.Please send any suggestions.