Thank you for your thoughtful response lastyear.

I like to think that I love my therapist, but from what I understand, true love is a selfless thing.
I must admit that the feelings I have for him are very selfish and self serving.
So I don't think transference is as simple as an opportunity to love someone.
It is far more complicated than loving someone in the typical sense.

It feels very much like grief to me.
I believe that is because I am grieving that which I never received.
An unmet need that insists on being fulfilled.