Welcome to PC....You came to the right place. We are here for you to spill your guts. So don't feel bad, everybody here understands.
I'm sorry your going through a tough time right now. Sounds like an OCD problem. Doesn't make you a freak.
The one thing I noticed is your completely aware of your problems and what needs to be done about them. Alot of people don't have that insight...they go around in life thinking what they are doing is normal.
Don't feel so overwhelmed. You can work through this. Many people live happy healthy lives with OCD. You can as well. As long as your willing to work at it.
I hope you feel better....and keep us posted and let us know how you are doing.
Desirae