I do understand the writing and deleting because, what's the use? I have been doing the same thing with my T's message service taking forever to decide to call him, one in 5 times actually calling, then maybe 1 in 5 times leaving a message, but always deleting it and hanging up.

Maybe you are getting just enough hope to think that posting will help, and then second guess yourself. I'm glad you were able to leave this post, so we know what you're feeling.

I hope you are able to post more... it will help, honest.