Just wanted to say thanks again for posting about this (even if it feels weird to post it in public). I'm still identifying with lots of things you're writing in some ways, including the thing about it feeling funny to post about personal issues on this forum. Also the thing about balancing intellectual (detached?) understanding of what's happening with letting yourself actually feel it when it hurts. I'm kind of nervous myself, along with you, about whether your t supports you the way you need... not that I think there's any reason she wouldn't. take care