Hi Rohag
I don't think the ruminations caused my sleeplessness, but they probably exacerbated it. These are also ruminations I haven't had in a long time, so I wonder what caused their return.

What caused my wakefulness was almost certainly the fact that I've been sleeping or laying in bed 10 hours or more for the past few days, so now I'm all slept out. I'm trying to shut the world out, and the more I try to do it, the less it works.

I had my sleep down to about eight hours a day, but as the pressure ratchets up at school, my anxiety goes up, and my need to try to escape it goes up as well. I feel like people want me to fail, that I'm destined to fail, because I'm a bad person, which sounds like paranoia and/or low self-esteem.

What makes it worse is that I then look at other students who have heavier course loads than me and seem to manage okay. Most other students also work, and have families, and I don't, so that adds to my guilt and feelings of inadequacy. If they don't work, they're barely making ends meet and wondering if they'll have to drop out because of money issues.

I know it's wrong to compare myself to others, but I don't know how not to.