hi ok, so glad you posted. leed gave you the same advice i would have written. i'm in recovery for alcoholism so can relate to everything you wrote about how you feel, how to stop, and the fears you have. AA has a good saying 'one is too many and a thousand's not enough.' this applies to smoking weed too. once those of us who are addicted, the first one sets off the obsession to use. abstinence is the only good answer to that prob. you can overcome this but having the support of others, NA or AA, doing the same as you will greatly benefit what you want to remedy. btw, one of the first steps of recovery is admitting you have a problem. so you are already on your way to a new way of living. happy, joyous, and free.
hope ya will keep us posted and we're here to support you.