I've been dating my boyfriend for just under a year now and I'm really getting frustrated with his lack of drive and initiative. We have both had our challenges over the past 4 years. I have Bipolar and he is a recovering alcoholic. He lost his drivers license due to ramifications of his drinking and got laid off last year as well. I also got laid off last year so we have had lots of time to spend together.

During this time, I have been dealing with issues from my Bipolar and rebuilding my life. I'm now in serious job hunt mode and he's been able to get his license for about 9 months now. I've brought it up a few times but he gets upset about it so I haven't mentioned it again. He has some interesting things going on with his ex and he could potentially get custody of his daughter so this friend told him he needed to get his license. I researched the fee and mentioned it to him and he said it was more than that and shut down again whioch frustrates me to know end. Since the direct approach hasn't worked I've started teasing at various times I'm just the chauffeur, etc.

I drive him everywhere and he rarely if ever offers me money for gas. I'm getting sick of driving him everywhere. I'm a planner and preparer so I feel that he should go get it in case I do get a job or he does get the custody of his daughter.

He also doesn't seem to have drive on the work front. He is extremely smart but did not have the same upbrining as me which it was expected you would go to college and get a good job. He lived in the UK and didn't even finish HS and he went into the trades. He has worked in construction for a large portion of his life and most recently worked in retail. People in his AA program have said what a great counselor he would be and I agree. I've mentioned stuff about going back to school and he just shrugs his shoulders and drops the subject.

I've mentioned things about not having any responsibility and he says he likes it that way. I don't think this is really realistic if he wants custody of his daughter and it drive me nuts, but what am I to do.

My boyfriend is very loving, kind, caring and compassionate, very good with people especially kids, loves to give by cooking for us, but I'm very worried about his drive and what appears to me lack of goals and ambition.

My ex-husband was a total jerk when it came to the emotional side of things but was very driven. Now I have the complete opposite. My boyfriends love and support is much healthier for my disease but I come from a long line of driven people and I'm having a hard time with this.

Any input or ideas?