Hey WePow. I have missed you! I do see this as progress. As for the allowing her to sit by me, that is so ridiculous. It feels really stupid to ask her to do that. She is so tiny. I felt like an elephant sitting by a squirrel!

For some reason, I am putting up this boundary between us. I will only allow her to get 'so' close. Not too close, though. If she touched me, I would feel really awkward. Not sure if this is because of all the issues about therapists not touching their clients, or if I have a problem of some kind that I am not aware or.

I am not really a huggy, touchy feely person, but I don't have a problem with people hugging me or touching me. I am just not normally the one to initiate it. I can receive it and give it back, though. So, why is it so different with her? That is the question I am trying to figure out.

Once I get past the issue of her sitting by me, I am going to ask her to touch me. Maybe just lay her hand on my arm or something. Let me sit with that emotion for a minute. Not sure if she will do that since she does have the no-touch boundary, but I hope that by the time I get to that point, she will see it as something that is necessary for my healing.

Why do I think these things up? I am making a list of things that I need to overcome. In other words, making a torture list!