One of the abusers still lives in my head. he controls me still. he takes the words from my mouth. he makes me punish myself for feeling and speaking bad about him. i can't say how i feel inside because he won't let me. he traps me in a prison. T asked me to say how i feel. he said say it out loud. I couldn't. he asked me to say I feel. I couldn't. I couldn't even say I. he controls me. he lives in my head. watching and punishing me.

rachel