Hey,

this does seem like a very odd relationship that you have with him and in many ways I think perhaps he has done the wrong thing in crossing the boundary from therapist to friend. You highlighted one of the very reasons this is not supposed to happen - because your seeing two different people in him, which causes uncertainty and incongruency. This can cause you to doubt who he is in therapy and this is damaging.

I wonder if he thought it would help you trust him but at the same time it's very strange that he does all these things with you outside of Therapy. Is he a therapist or a case worker?

When things have happened to us in life, it can mean that we find trusting others extremely hard. What I think your Therapist should have really done was to gain your Trust as a therapist first and foremost, as this is meant to be his most important role in your life from him.

I know others on the forum have talked about doing very friend-like things with their therapists and although it is always crossing a boundary where the ethics of therapy is concerned, most of these individuals have a very trusting and long standing relationship with their T first and foremost.

I am not sure if he is the right therapist for you and also if it's good you have a male therapist so you can work through these issues or if your better off with a female you can trust first?

I am hesitant to give advice as I would hate to give it wrongly. If you can talk to him then that would be a good idea.

I know people progress at different rates but it is concerning to me that after 3 years you cannot trust him as a therapist.

*huge huggggggsss!!**