I've been having issues with my therapist for the last months.

Yesterday I asked the question that I feared the most. I asked my T if she still wanted to be my therapist or not. She was kinda surprised, and answered yes, willing to continue.

Then I brought up the issue (again) that I felt she was being very distant, and that I was always afraid she didn't care anymore.

She said that focusing on that (her attitude, or what I percive as her attitude) was paying attention to something which wasn't important. Not as far as treatment goes.

We ended the session with me telling her that maybe HER feelings about the relationship were not important to discuss, but MY feelings about the relationship were important and interfering with my treatment. She agreed that we discuss it further.

Last night I was feeling really bad. So I emailed her, and told her that my dependence and suceptibility towards her is a big deal for me. That I understand the whole transference thingy, and that probably my feelings were not really about the way she was acting, but related to my own issues.
But I also made a strong point: MY feelings of rejection and abandonment are real for me. I cry, feel like I'm gonna go crazy, that I can't take it any longer, that I desperatly need to talk to her. (It was the first time I was so honest and open about this issue that bothers me so much).

She didn't answer. Neither did she emailed me to schedule our next session, which was supposed to be today. (she told me in session that she would email me at night).

I feel terrible. Totally abandoned and scared.

ps:deep down I still trust her, think she cares, and wants to do the best for me. But she might be wrong this time.