Im really "tuned in" to my therapists to. I think it comes from having to always having to pick up on even the subtle changes to protect myself as kid so now out of that I can take one look at my therapists and know "she's had a hard day" "she's not all here today is it me or what?" "she's on edge or upset about something was it me?" All this used to drive me nuts into thinking my therapists didn't care or weren't interested or weren't paying attention.

Well this time when I got stuck in therapy by DHS I decided I was going do things differently this time.I wasn't going to immediately assume it was me doing something wrong or the therapist didn't care and was going to drop me or leave me hanging.

EVERY time I picked up on something the minute I did I'd say something. She would walk in my door or Id walk in hers and she's say hi bla bla bla and I would ignore what she asked me and say "rough day huh?" or "ok someone p*s**d you off today?" or even a light joke of "Okay who's in la laland now?" to get her to see the distance in herself that I was picking up on.

after enough times of doing this to her she would walk in my house and say "since you pick up on things anyway yes I have had a rough day what kinds of things do you do on those rough days?" and I showed her some of my activites and we brainstormed for more coping tools for the rough days. In the process I was telling her about certain situations that are harder then others and we work on how to handle those situations.

By my being direct and pointing out right away in the moment that I notice a change in her she could see where I was getting the feelings from (instead of assuming I was transferring my fear of abandonment on to her meaning the problem was her not me this time) and could take care of it right away. That she was all there for me during our time together.

Therapists are trained to see things as the problem stems from the clients fears but the problems are not always from transferance. Therapists are human and though they are trained to remain objective and so on sometimes their work day or personal life does get picked up on during sessions (at least I pick up on them like a magnet to metal). So I wouldn't be surprised if she tells you the next time you see her that the problem was indeed her.

Way to go with being honest with her

being honest scares me too but I have found that therapist and I worked together so much better when I was honest about it