I was busy with dinner and just went back online and there was my message waiting for me! My T said "we'll have a lot to talk about on Tuesday". My stomach and heart are doing flip-flops. Not about discussing the meds, but about seeing her again. Reading her email again is making me feel too much. In a way it was nice not to have those intense feelings for awhile, but I am SO happy she's back, safe and sound!!

I have my session Tuesday and then I'll miss at least 2 sessions again. I have to be sure to be there, 100% mindful and not get into arguments about meds or fish oil.

I want to hold her hand, but I'm embarrassed. I hope she looks "normal" and not like she did last time. I want to ask if we could take a walk, but I don't know if it's a good idea when I'm going away. I might not get to say everything I want to.

Why is therapy so important? Why did everything change when I saw her email just now??? How am I going to survive until Tuesday????? I know I will, but the flip/flop feelings are so strong! I don't WANT her to be so important again, but she IS. I wish I knew how much is transference. I know a lot of you go through this pain, not just me. But why do I feel like this? I've never gotten an answer except for "unmet needs". I hate "unmet needs!" If meds will make these needs go away, I'm all for them, but I don't think they work that way.