I'm not sure if therapy is about changing who you fundamentally are. In fact, it might be a mistake to view it that way.

I mean, I read through this thread and it is just littered with words like deficit, failure, changes, open wounds, fear etc....

My therapist once said something to me that really struck a chord " we are all brilliantly insane"

Meaning, given our life history and our stories, that every single thing we do makes perfect sense and reflects a certain brilliance about us when viewed within the context of our lives. There is nothing wrong with us at the moment.

So the question is, I think, is given the person you are right now (who is perfect and okay) the person that you really are deep deep down.

Is there something covering up that authentic person? Is who you are, really who you are?

I know we talk a lot of about maladaptive coping techniques, personality disorders, abandonment phobias, etc... but isn't happiness just sort of accepting who you are right now while probing if that person is really you?

I don't know.

Maybe I'm just projecting on you the fact that I am to the bone tired of feeling flawed, unworthy and a perpetual victim of my own self, life and choices of others.

I want to line up who I think I am with, with the actual me. Those two seem a little out of synch.

Sorry for the ramble, just my two cents I guess.