There's no point in trying to talk to my friend cos I know i've blown my last chance with her. There's no point in me trying to say sorry cos she's heard it all before and sorry is just a word to her now and it has no meaning. I'll just have to wait to see if she ever talks to me again. I have an appointment with my Psychologist in the morning so i'll tell her everything. I'm fed up with being such a freak. I hate the person I am!! Its all just a mess and I can feel myself falling down that black hole and I don't think i'll be able to get out of it! I'm not even sure I want to!!