you're right. reminders really are awful. the worst part is the more you try to avoid them the more they seem to be in your face all the time. you need a plan, a way to distract yourself. my brother had trouble dealing with an issue like that. he wore a rubberband and every time he caught himself dwelling on the issue he'd snap the band and remind himself to turn his attention elsewhere. never tried that personally, but one thing i have tried is humming. yes. humming. theres one thing i have trouble with in the winter and its everywhere i look (won't mention it, don't want to trigger anyone). every time i'm confronted i hum the song 'strong enough' (sheryl crow. love it). i say the lyrics in my head while i hum. no, its not perfect or foolproof and doesn't always work, but i force my focus away. memories are a very powerful thing and for some people, avoiding them is better than facing them. nothing to be ashamed of. we all deal with things our own way. feel better.