I am sorry that this has happened. Are you seeing a therapist/counselor or on any meds? I struggle with all that you have mentioned as well. With LOTS of help from my counselor I am beginning to see when I'm going into crisis mode and hurting those I love. I have started reading a book called "Sometimes I act crazy - living with borderline personality disorder" it has been an eye opener and helped me to understand a bit better. At the end of each chapter is ways to help deal with that particular trait the chapter is referring to.

I believe that it is hard for partners of borderlines to "put up" with us. I have been really lucky - I found a guy who has stuck with me for 4 years. Yes, he gets frustrated with me and needs to take breaks. Yes I feel abadonded when he does this, but we are learning to work through it together. I do think that it is possible at some point to have a relationship.

I hope this was some what helpful. Please know you are not alone in this.