About a week ago I started chatting with my ex online. He turned the conversation sexual, and I flipped out and told him I wouldn't talk to him anymore. It really upset me. Well, friday night I acted like an idiot and basically told him I wanted to sleep with him again. Then saturday i told him I made a mistake. Then Sunday we took a walk and talked. Then today we talked again and I told him that talking to him made me upset, but that i would still be willing to sleep with him again. He said he wasn't interested and to stop being so dramatic, and he's right. God, I'm stupid. and crazy. I was doing so well when I wasn't talking to him at all. All I can do is be strong and do it again. Ugh. I'm done beating myself up. I hate being bipolar and manic and depressed and hypersexual and confused and self-defeating and self-sabotaging. There is something seriously wrong with me.