Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyLogophile
Well, it sounds to me like the more you push the issue of him seeking help, the more stubborn he will be. I don't know what other advice to give other than to pack up a suitcase and tell him that you are giving him some space to deal with his issues, since he refuses to talk about it or take any other action that might help him feel better. Not break up with him, but just stay with a friend for a few days so he can have some space. I would tell him that it isn't just his problem, because the two of you are living and sleeping together (I'm assuming?) and presumably attempting to build a life together. If this is the way he deals with all of his emotional issues (by shutting everyone out in an effort to be stoic or macho or something), than it will only end up hurting you in the long run.
I'm only telling you what my gut feeling is. It's what I WOULD DO, but may not be necessarily the best choice for you. You know in your heart what you needs to be done because you have all the details. Also keep in mind that I am working through my own issues and I'm not a qualified therapist or anything, so my advice might be totally bogus. :-)
Good luck and keep posting, please.
PS: please stop beating yourself up about sharing this. No one here is judging him or you, and it's OK to talk to other people in a safe environment like this to get advice for someone you obviously care a lot about. You're a good person. Be good to yourself! (I have to work on loving myself, too...it's easier said than done!)
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Oh, wow, I feel kind of cool because you assumed I'm older and living with him... I'm taking it as a compliment, haha... Um, no, I'm 15. My boyfriend is 16. I don't know how that changes things, except that we live separately and we're not sleeping together (yet- that actually might change soon... but that's another story...). Um... He's not always like how he was in that conversation. It's just when I press him. I love him and usually he's extremely sweet and loving. I'm willing to work on him with whatever macho stuff he wants. He's just like that, and I don't really mind... I do want to build a life with him. I know that's asking a lot of a high school relationship but... Let me have my fantasies, haha... We're going to go to California together when we're 18... I'm going to be a teacher and he doesn't know what he wants to be yet... But.. the point is, I could never leave him. I love him. And he loves me. Even if in the middle of a fight I ask him if he wants space he'll immediately cool down and ask me not to leave him. He's really very sweet, I'm sorry I didn't really portray that correctly.
And I respect you a lot for your opinion. I mean, you seem really independent and logical and I admire that. I will mention about how his issues are mine now too, and that it does hurt me that he isn't able to talk about them. Thank you. That's a really smart thing to say.
And thank you to your PS... That does make me feel a lot better... I know it's private and a great community... I guess I needed to be reminded of that...
