Quote:
Originally Posted by jadedmoonbeam
You are so young to be dealing with all of this. I thought you were older as well.
You said it's been a month now - have you only been dating a month? That's not a very long time - maybe you need to take a break till he can get his sleep together - teenagers actually need more sleep than adults
Your boyfriend has experienced something extremely traumatic and without help he is only going to get worse....time heals many things, but I'm not sure it will help something like that....and you mentioned his temper...if he's not hurting you, what is he apologizing about? Even if he's just yelling at you, it's still abuse and you shouldn't stand for it.
I know you love him. I remember my first love at 15 and how intense it was but your boyfriend needs help and if he's not willing to get it its going to affect his grades, how he acts all the time...your boyfriend needs some serious help that you are not equipped to give him. LazyLogophile is right, this isn't just his problem if he's in a relationship with you, plus he's living with his parents I'm assuming.....
Bottom line - you are doing the right thing by asking for help and asking him to get help. If he doesn't want to get help then you might have to step back for a little while till he realizes he needs it. He's too young to be dealing with this on his own and so are you.
 
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Wow. I think that's a good thing... Thanks, guys... Hah...
But, um, yeah, we've been dating about a month and a half or so, but we've been friends for almost two years now. And he does need more sleep and things, but, you know... Okay... I hate talking about this because I always feel like I'm bragging when in reality I hate it, but he's not like other guys or other people or other teenagers at all...
His dad used to hit him. He beat his dad up when he was younger, and his dad hasn't touched him since. It sounds kind of insane. I still freak out about it, because I'm worried because he still lives with his dad and that can't be safe or easy to deal with at all but I told you, he refuses to talk about it. Telling me that in general was a huge step for him... I'm really proud of him for that... I just wish I could handle this better. But that's not it... Before he dated me he slept around a lot and dated millions of girls based on looks and everything else... He partied almost every night... He still gets A's because he's very smart, he barely slept anyway, and he did way too many drugs. He doesn't do that now. But it's made him think that he can handle anything. He's also a daredevil. He does all of these crazy things that involve jumping out of airplanes and crazy stuff and he was freaking dead for eleven seconds and THAT certainly scares the crap out of me...
But... after all of that... it's really hard to convince him that he's human and has needs like sleep and sometimes even food. Let alone talking about feelings. You know?
I know he needs help. I know he's been through an extremely traumatic situation. It scares me, so much. I just need to help him somehow. I don't know what to do. I will never leave him...
And don't worry. He apologizes for his temper, which is only him telling me to stop talking about it and to drop it because it's making him upset. But that's it. He doesn't insult me, put me down, it's not verbal abuse, and could never be physical abuse. And he'll wait as long as I want to have sex. I know it's kinda hard to believe based on all this, but he really is a great guy who isn't abusive in the least...
Um... What do you mean by step back? Trust me, I'm taking your advice to heart and I really believe what you're saying, it's just, I could never leave him. I don't feel trapped, but I love him, and I wouldn't do that. I don't want to do that. If by stepping back, you mean not talking about it with him for a bit, than definitely, yeah, I'm going to drop it till May 5th and see how things are...
Thank you, by the way, for your response!! This community really is great. You guys are all very smart and helpful.
