Something that took me years...more than a decade to really understand...is that you can ONLY help someone who WANTS your help. You don't have to leave him to "step back", but you can mentally separate yourself from his issues, and remain available to him when he is ready to deal with it. You have to take care of yourself before you can be of help to anyone, especially a significant other.

He has many issues to work through, and you have your own as well. The teenage years are rough! You seem extremely bright and mature for your age and I'm sure you will make a terrific teacher because you care so deeply. We need more of you in the world! I thinking waiting until May is a good idea, just try not to dwell on it during the waiting period. Hopefully he will come to a place where he accepts that he is human and does need help, but I wouldn't count on him doing that in less than a month. :-) You are a wonderful girlfriend, and I'm sure he's grateful to have your support. Continue to be his friend, and remind him that you are available if he needs to talk...and then drop it. Unfortunately, you can't force him to get help, but please don't be afraid to call someone if the situation gets worse (he becomes suicidal or reclusive to a point that you are concerned).

I don't want this to come off condescending or anything, but when I was your age I started having serious relationships and many of them were with guys who had complicated emotional issues. It was exciting and mysterious to be with someone like that, and I felt like I could help them work through their issues and it was gratifying. The only word of caution I have is from personal experience, so take it with a grain of salt if you feel like it doesn't apply to you. I was TOO YOUNG to be in a serious relationship. I became too involved in the problems of my significant others and it distracted me from my goals. You have your whole life to find "the one", and maybe you have, but allow yourself time and space for YOU. Focus on your career goals, your spiritual well being, and your hobbies. I'm not saying break up with him or don't ever date, but give yourself time. I wasted so much of my youth on relationships that I suddenly realized one day that my teen years and half of my 20's were gone, and I had not done anything for ME. I was too focused on my romantic partners to think about myself or have any fun in my youth.

Again, that may not apply to you so please don't take it the wrong way, but please keep it in mind. It was a hard lesson for me, and I am full of regrets. I just hope you don't make the same mistakes. It's so admirable of you to care so deeply for your boyfriend, and don't ever let go of that care! Just make sure you save some care for yourself, too.

I hope everything works out for both of you. California is beautiful, btw, and my boyfriend and I plan to move our little family there within the next year. It's expensive, though, so start saving! LOL!