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welcome, d. i'm glad you found us.
it seems you have had a lot of loss and sadness in your life. lots of physical challenges too. at the moment i'll need to think on this and will get back with you. hope i can offer some helpful suggestions to you later.
in the meantime you've found our community. i think you will find it's very supportive. know that we care about you.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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