Please hang in there. I know, from what you've described, how terribly awful it is to be where you are right now. No, we cannot say we know exactly how you feel, but we have all seen our own version of that dark hole. Some days I am there, some days I am not.

Like I know that whatever happiness I feel, comfort I feel, or love I feel is all false...like a mask. But for some reason I keep reaching for the real version of all those things.