hiya darkangel;

first of all, kudos for identifying the fact that what you feel is jealousy-believe it or not, some people arn't there yet-are too ashamed that they are capable of feeling such a thing that they stuff it down-so you've hit check point one

Me being Freudian, I'm thinking in the past, all of what you are feeling made
perfectly good sense somewhere. Typically this is parent related, but other people could have abused you too;

When a person "over" reacts, it's because they have had horrible experiences with something, and your unconscious knows what that trauma was, so it defends it's self...in this case, violent anger, wa-la.

I have a feeling that you're not going to be able to just change your thoughts and trusy your bf; lol, doesn't work that way in reality...I think ya gotta think about those past experiences, talk about it, and emotionally release it. If not, you may end up recreating the jealous and pain of what happened to you over and over again...and I'm talkin', you will litterally pull, or set yourself up unconsciously, back into these situations-because it's all you know. How can one trust if never known trust? Nah' I'm saying? lol.

If you find yourself beating yourself up verbally or in other ways, self savotage including...that is also not releasing anger in healthy ways-it will further your patterns, make things worse, cuz the anger that belongs to your abuser will be released onto others or yourself.

Hang in there yo, try to think about where some of that hurt is coming from;

((((darkangel)))
Take care,
-obj