Today, my wife has called me twice today wanting to use our daughter as a pawn. Today is my wife's day/night to watch my daughter. Therefore it is my wife's responsibility. Quite frequently, whenever my wife doesn't feel like watching my daughter, she will call me. Tonight she wants me to watch our daughter because she claims it's not fair that I don't take care of my daughter because she is sick. I told my wife that whenever our daughter gets sicks, and I am watching her, I don't call my wife and ask her to watch her for me. That's not her responsibility. My wife also says that my daughter has been repeatedly asking for me. My wife knows that I love spending time with our daughter and that I hardly ever say no. I'll just put down whatever I am doing and go get her. I, being like a doormat, would always say, "yes". My wife likes to twist things around and make it seem like I don't want to see our daughter.

Then a few minutes later, out of spite, she says she is going to keep our daughter away from me except on the days she sees fit. She believes she can just unilaterally change our visitation schedule to spite me. This is the second time I've said no in the last couple of weeks. She just gets irate whenever I say no. She tries to take a hateful, punitive, and manipulative way of making it sound like I just don't want to spend time with our daughter. I could hear our daughter obviously upset in the background. I mention that during the upcoming summer that I will be watching our daughter even more. My wife said that during the summer, our daughter won't be getting sick as much. This indicates that my wife simply feels that it's all an issue of her perceived fairness.. She lashed out and called me selfish. Yet she is the one wanting to duck responsibility on a day that is designated for her. The thing is, my wife is only going to end up hurting herself. More importantly, by behaving childishly and abusively my wife is hurting our daughter indirectly. By taking time away from our daughter and I, my wife is hurting our daughter the most out of the three. If my wife really cared about her daughter getting to spend time with her father, she wouldn't restrict her from me. That makes absolutely no sense at all. I want a structured, balanced and fair visitation schedule. We have talked about divorce before and my wife wants full custody even though our visitation schedule is more like joint custody.

I know I am doing the right thing. I know that for me and, if it continues, our marriage, to stand up to her and just say no. I don't even have to give her any reasons. I have the right to say no. My wife is just going to have to accept that fact or leave me. I can't control what my wife does. I can control what I do.


On the other hand, I feel bad about not taking the opportunity to spend time with our daughter.