Welcome to PC. I hope you find it to be a helpful and supportive place. It sounds like you've overcome a lot of bad experiences and challenges and face a lot in the future. That takes courage. Remember that you are a survivor.

I too have C-PTSD. but I'm largely asymptomatic now, I'm also a recoverring alcoholoic. It's taken me years of therapy, and it's going to take many more years I suspect to fully heal. I'm luck in that I'm working with a trauma specialist, and she's helped me immensely. Does your T have any specific training in trauma? If not you might consider looking for one who does. I too used to stuff everything - that didn't help me. It just led me to various self destructive means of coping. Be honest with your mental health care providers about how you're feeling. It may feel scary in the moment, but it's the only way to heal in my opinion.

Take care of yourself.

---splitimage