So here's the latest update. I met with my counselor on Monday and she said there was no right or wrong way to do things. If I felt like calling him, call him. I called him after the appointment and apologized for my behavior and invited him to come over that night. He said he was very hurt and needed time. Me being the planner that I am said will do you need a day, two or what. He said he didn't know. He also didn't apologize for anything. He did at least tell me how he was feeling which doesn't happen very often.

So we have talked every day one or two times a day. I'm not asking him how his is feeling, etc. we are just talking about what we did that day and very superficial stuff. I offered on Monday and don't want to offer again. I feel that the ball is in his court and he can tell me when he is ready.

I've been keeping myself super busy and planned a full day with my son today so we are busy at the time we usually go to pick up his daughter. He mentioned that he was picking her up. I didn't ask who or how he was getting her.

My son wanted to call him last night and of course was asking him when he was coming over and if he would be at his baseball game on Saturday but he just said maybe, but I'm not promising anything.

So, I don't want to freak out or overanalyze things but WTF. How much time does he need? Is he ever going to communicated it to me? Does he want to break up?

I'm just moving forward and planning my life as a singleton. I'm a thinker and overanalyzer so this time is making me batty. Everyone, especially jadedmoonbeam has given me some excellent advice and it's made me think a lot. I have been waking up really early in the morning 1 to 3 hours earlier than usual this week and I've been forcing myself to stay in bed but I sure hope it doesn't continue as we all know what happens when our sleep is continually inbterrupted. Anyhow when I got up this morning, I did a list of Pros and Cons to our relationship and just wrote a list of how I was overall feeling about things. It was very helpful.

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I have abandonment issues so my fears/feelers are up with this whole space thing. Now I'm thinking maybe when he's had enough time, we should ease back into things and not spend so much time together. If we aren't spending as much time together and he doesn't get his stuff together like getting his license, etc. it would be a lot easier to cut the cord if we aren't spending as much time together plus if he isn't spending as much time over he has to buy his own groceries, etc.

I meet with my counselor on Tuesday so that will be helpful and will consult her on stuff too but of course would love input from this incredible group.