Hi ByAThread,

First of all, I'm sorry that you have so much on your plate right now -- you certainly aren't having an inappropriate/unfounded response given your situation. I've had anorexia & bulimia off and on for the past four years, so I know what you're up against right now (I also have anxiety, bipolar, & ADHD).

I've done a lot of research on eating disorders (am also finishing up a degree in psychology) and since I tend to be less than concise, I'll try to give you brief answers to some of your questions above (though feel free to PM me if you have any other questions).

Eating disorders usually arise from stressful situations in which you feel a lack of control. Eating disorders are really anxiety disorders in which the symptoms of anxiety are coped with by restricting food intake; each type of anxiety disorder is primarily differentiated by the response that one has to the anxiety (eg OCD: obsessions=anxiety, compulsions=attempts to alleviate anxiety). So, ironically, you DO in fact have a big measure of control in your life, which is the complete control of your body. Some people go on a diet, while others just begin having a huge aversion to all food, and don't consciously know why they can't eat. What you were saying about feeling like you've just eaten a big thanksgiving dinner all of the time is very common among anorexics.

The psychological and neurological aspects interact to cause a deep embedding of the disorder -- certain people develop eating disorders, GAD, OCD, or panic attacks (or a combo) as a stress response to past/present experiences, depending on what their brain chemistry is like (eg the balance of neurotransmitters & general makeup of the brain). You inherit genetic vulnerabilities to certain disorders from basic brain chemistry -- lower than average serotonin puts you at greater risk for depression (given the environmental stimulus of unemployment, death/loss, etc) and higher than average makes you at a greater risk for developing an eating disorder (although both often coincide...in which case other neurotransmitter levels are off, too).

Well, I've proved that I'm good at brevity....sorry for unloading gads of facts on you, I'm sure this is a bit more than you cared to know (hope I didn't put you to sleep). If you need any support, or someone to talk to, feel free to message me!

Jessie