(((((Melissa))))). The trouble with aiming too high in Bipolar is you end right back where you are, with a whole lot of extra baggage to curse your misery. Resist the urge. I hope your meds put you right where you need to be - happy, not out of the park.
Yes, I can relate to this. I was so miserable that I took Citalopram and it shot me into such a wild state - but it cost me. I didn't achieve "balanced". I'm still paying for it with an episode that won't respond to treatment.