OMG I am so shy. I don't know whether it's "painfully shy" or "pathologically shy," or what; I am just very shy. It takes me forever to get to know people. I have had a core group of friends for like, 35 years almost, and sometimes I still wonder whether they really like me.

I don't know what it is. Definitely thin-skinned. Trying to figure out why. It's something I should have dealt with long ago.

Your T's approach sounds like some twisted kind of tough-love technique. I personally don't go for that. I think I understand what the T was trying to say, that being nervous can make it hard for a friendship to get off the ground, but there's got to be a better way to say it. I'd find someone who's a little more supportive. I mean, do you think that approach helped you at all?

I guess in social situations, I try really hard to focus. Figure out what the other person is interested in and talk about that. Underneath my shy exterior, I'm not a total cipher. I have interests and opinions, and I can express them if I can just keep my head on straight. I hope you can do that, too.