Yes i know just how you feel..Now days if i get afew good days where my head is clear and the happiness feels sooooo Good! I just thank God .And pray for more ahead.. Cause it's hard to find that right place anymore..Seems like you struggle and seem to get no where..I'm in the process of finding a new T and a new P..Hopefully i will find balance..Like what Merlin said here ..I doubt i will ever feel normal.But you know what ?I'll never give up hope. No matter what i will push on and always keep my faith.I hope soon that you find your balance and feel the Happiness you so deserve.